Don't Criticize Yourself and Blow Your Relationship

All of us have real or imagined shortcomings. One of the biggest mistakes we make in relationships is to bring attention to our shortcomings. Why would we do something so self-destructive? How much time we spend talking about our real or imagined short-comings is up to each person.

We experience our short-comings as threats to our self-esteem. Threats mean anxiety. Thus, we criticize ourselves, experience anxiety, and then make things worse by attempting to dust off that anxiety by speak sometimes often talk about our imperfections. What is particularly self-destructive about the operating system in this way, it is often the other person what we want to be attracted, often not even noticed this feature, we are so focused on. Let's take a physical function. A woman thinks her back is too great. During lunch on the third day, she says so much about her new husband, thinking that the proximity should be shared with someone every thought. He had not noticed anything usual about hisIn view of her when they walk away ... But you can bet that when his eyes in order for the first time the woman gets up and walks away to go off the table.

This is not to say that our fears, we never share. Of course we do that, even in a relationship, if not-evaluative commitment has been made. But in a relationship, a long-term marriage when one person uses the relationship as a place to fear and self-dump complaints, even the best relationships will wear down, and moreremoved.

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