Thursday 31 December 2009

The fears and apprehensions of marriage

For those who have never been the knot of fear and anxiety surrounding marriage can often get paranoid Shares are bound. Many of his covenant of the potential harm associated with divorce and the love and affection as possible. Single men, especially, have in no hurry for a variety of reasons to be excited, which is five:

(1) The availability of sex without any commitment, (2) The acquisition marry a "woman" by living together without having to avoid (3) The desire to boththe risks and costs of divorce, (4) The desire to wait before they have children, and - not unimportant - (5) The fact that the marriage will require changes and compromises.

How many of us be happy to accept changes, or are willing to compromise, unless it is a great personal benefit in it? Not many, it seems, especially for single men over 35 Note how the five reasons were also on money, sex and compromise, the three biggest concerns in any modernRelationship.

Failure to comply with these three elements is not satisfactory by the relationship per se causes a lot of it, but only exacerbated. The system for dealing with them is by 'invisible forces, "as I call them, which are absent from this first encounter - forces that triggered the path and the direction of two men together by the circumstances require, masking their obvious personal properties controlled. These forces are very strongly embedded, as an individual in ourCulture, values, personality, psyche and perception, even though he is constantly influenced and changed expectations and experiences of life. They determine our attitude to life itself, and if there is a crisis, they show themselves in their full glory.

The Desire to Impress Anybody can with their lives when it is calm and fight rosy, but show through the true nature and value of an individual when stress and chaos. The main reason for this double unit refers to our desire tous on the one hand, still to impress others on the other side, especially potential partners. So we are likely never to reveal our true selves, while we are comfortable and well settled. For this reason, the longer time is enjoyed in the comfort of the relationship the less likely we are to really know our partner. This is because, early in the relationship, we prefer the needs and expectations of others who matter to us until we are forced to reveal our true selves mirror.

Thus,a new relationship is on a kind of base, the two strangers who seldom what they seem, are for the main purpose of triggering maximum satisfaction from the new bond. Therefore, partners must be clearly different from yours after marriage or after years of living together. As the saying goes, men marry women hoping that they will always remain the same, while the women their husbands immediately after marriage to change for hope! The agenda is clearly defined by both parties from the wedding day,except that every carefully crafted, it will not show until later. It will take only in the course of time their individual personalities, especially when they felt frustrated in their individual goals. As long as life chugs along happily, and feel comfortable with each half of the partnership, which will be exposed to only a few easily observable characteristics. The key remains dormant and deadly for a long time until they are needed.

The day come that stress andproblems and new elements of the character of a spouse, especially negative, will be brought to the fore. It's just a matter of time to take effect, the invisible forces. Years later, when the couple seem almost like two strangers, they are likely to be amazed how little they really knew their partner if they were honest, they thought. Hence the saying: "My wife and her husband does not understand me" - a statement that might seem a bit odd, given the near-perfect understandingduring courtship! Sometimes we are lucky to other, unseen forces aligning their needs to us in a very positive way to be, but that's not the norm, is nearing the exception.

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