Introduction
We live in a society that linked the high value and expectation on places in a relationship and singles are often stigmatized for their single status. Gay men, in particular, are often unable to develop and maintain long-term intimate relationships designated, which is another level to this stigma. This can lead to feelings of low self-esteem and inferiority, a feeling that there is something wrong with you if you do not have a boyfriend, an excessiveand focus the study of your discontent with being single, and sometimes a compulsive drive to the intention of finding a relationship to convince only aware that nagging need (which may be what is considered a dangerous maneuver and sabotage, if you're desperate and not from practices are carried out).
For those who do not have elected singlehood as a lifestyle and not be too long in a relationship, this can be a painfully difficult experience. Special events, festivals, weddings, times ofWatch loneliness, and just other couples can very triggering events for singles that serve their anxiety and unfulfillment magnify with being solo. What need this kind of single gay men the most is a confirmation and recognition that this phase of life can be one of the most beautiful and transformative time of their lives if they choose to. This article will validate the positive values of being single and some suggestions for making the most you can offer your singleLife.
The advantages of the single
Singlehood is the time in your life where you want to do the greatest amount of flexibility and freedom, what do you. You can read more spontaneous, independent, selfish, and adventurous because there are fewer obligations and more time for the things you can do to pursue, you can make your life into something that you to be, as you are completely in need ' the driver's seat. "You have the ability, in and out of force situationsrelative ease to learn and a lot of new people to know. You have to bear responsibility only for themselves and can decisions and important decisions without a further statement or to have to make anyone answer. You do not have with another's annoying habits or nuances and treat not to have to compromise. Other aspects of your identity (career, family, friends, etc.) may have more weight, because there is less competition for your focus and attention.
More importantly, however, single life brings youachieve in the ideal position to grow even to your full potential as individuals. It is an opportunity for self-exploration and investment in your personal growth and development. It is also an ideal time to learn what is needed to be fully prepared for love when you find it, to experiment safely with your sexuality and to explore the different types of relationships. It is a fertile ground for learning about who you are and what your needs are. Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. says he is best inhis book "Keeping The Love You Find": "Singleness as an important step of the way to maturation would be recognized at a time learn who we are, responsibility and self-sufficiency will learn to identify our real needs and confront our inner strengths and demons, a time to reflect changes in the things that get us to a joy and progress in life, prevention, such as the connection and communication via alllevels. It would be sorely needed relationship training. "(1)
Steps for ActionNavigating Your Single Life
The following are some practical tips and suggestions for managing your singlehood a positive acceptance and enjoyment of this special time in your life are encouraged.
1st Create a checklist of the opportunities that it offers single life and start living it!
2nd Start a journal about your single status and what it means to you. Answer the following questions:
o Why am I single? How do I feel about it?
o What do I want from the essenceSingle?
o What thoughts, feelings and behaviors restrain myself from the position at this time in my life to embrace?
o How can I contribute to my own unfulfillment with being single? " How can I sabotage myself?
Do you deny your feelings or ignore your desire for a relationship. can process these feelings in your journal and write about ways to create more meaning and purpose in your life.
3rd Identify the main challenges to overcome with being single and develop goalsthem.
4th Develop affirmation cards. Grab a few index cards and write positive thoughts, motivational statements, benefits and opportunities of being single and self-improvement goals on the cards. Read them, begin to internalize the messages every day. Alternatively, keep the cards in a glass and in times of loneliness or depressive funk, refer to the maps for a quick pick-me-up.
5th Identify what you do or have always been meaning to try but never had the timelearn to follow or not. Take Action.
6th Build your support system to join a class, volunteer for a cause that is meaningful to you, pledge to wellness.Be health and active. Live your life to the max! Make it pay off!
Completion
As you can see, single life offers many opportunities for self growth, fun and preparing for your partner when you finally meet him. Enjoy your life in this critical time to improve your life, achieve goalsYour self-esteem, work through internalized homophobia you may struggle with, and build your interpersonal skills. It is important to avoid glamorizing relationships because "the grass is not always greener on the other side" and recognize that to take with a friend, not problems you may already have in your life. Appreciate this time of your life and do not measure your happiness or worth as a person in your relationship status.
The Law of Attraction states thatWe prefer situations, people and events in our lives that who we are and what we focus on our play. Negativity about being single is only a mirror, magnifying glass, and attract more negativity. Counter this by responsibility for your single life and crafting it into existence the most useful and fulfilling time of your life with its focus on your life vision and goal. Cheers your a successful single!
(1) Hendrix, H. (1992). Keeping the Love You Find. New York: PocketBooks / Simon & Schuster, Inc.
© 2004 Rzepczynski Brian L.
Use like THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-zine or website? This article can be reprinted freely online, as long as you include the full article and the resource box:
Brian Rzepczynski, Certified Personal Life Coach is the Gay Love Coach: "I work with gay men, which is prepared a roadmap that will lead them to find and create building a lasting partnership with Mr. Right." To register for the Free Gay Love CoachNewsletter programs filled with dating and relationship tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as check out current coaching groups, and teleclasses, please visit http://www.TheGayLoveCoach.com.
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